Tentatively Tasmanian

When we decided we were coming back home and that ‘home’ was going to be Hobart Tasmania, we looked up realestate.com.au and domain.com.au and had a map of the city close by.

We also have a lifelong friend who grew up in Hobart, who gave us some very tactful warnings about where to not look (that’s a contaminated site, only bogans live there, high crime rate, no buses to speak of, flood zones) and a LOT of good places to investigate. The dream suburbs were waaaaaay out of our price range, but Bill gently pointed out that the ‘Flannelette Curtain’ was slowly opening and moving into areas that were more affordable and becoming gentrified; i.e. had independent coffee shops, cool Asian noodle bars and gift shops selling stuff like candles, fudge and throw rugs.

With our budget firmly in mind, we started researching from the comfort of our kitchen table in France.

One thing we noticed first: we were both aware of what we did NOT like way before what we did like.

My most disliked feature (apart from endless stairs, shower curtains over tall bathtubs, no heating and being on a very busy road) are kitchen sinks that are placed in the middle of the so-called ‘breakfast bar.’

Here’s one example:

I’m not saying that the kitchen isn’t gorgeous, because it is, but who wants to sit sipping coffee at a breakfast bar surrounded by dirty dishes?

And if you do want to do that, are you expected to scrub, wash, dry and hide away those dishes before anyone turns up for a cuppa?

Lovely views, and the shiny glossy white will just HIGHLIGHT that chili con carne you accidentally burnt at the bottom of the pan sadly soaking in the sink as you enter the room.

This ‘breakfast bar’ is extremely narrow, so you’ll either end up manspreading or sitting side saddle. It does have a drainage sink though, so hopefully you won’t be splashed by the dishpig when sipping your nescafe.

Oh please. A chunk of formica to hide the sink? Are we visiting a bank teller? No!

Don’t get me started on gold or brass taps. I’m no stylist, but even I know that the gold trend ended about a year ago. And look at the window behind – THAT’s where the sink should be. It’s not net curtain-twitching these days; it’s rinsing plates and spying on the neighbours at the same time.

My hatred for this trend goes right back to the designers, who obviously have never washed a dish in their lives or believe that everything including frying pans, casserole dishes and anything with avocado welded on it to can fit into the dishwasher.

My prediction is that these impractical benches will be the first to be replumbed and upgraded, moving the sink and taps to a wall or under a window. My dislike (OK, severe gut wrenching loathing) meant that I’d see a house that looked good, click through the photos and then immediately press ‘x’ when a sink was found in the bench.

Craig* thought I was being unreasonably judgemental but as he’s the star chef, my role is usually the pot washer and cleaner-upperer. Having the soaking soup pot as the centre of attention in the kitchen is both abominable and wrong.

You’ll be relieved to know that we have found a house with a sink under the window that gives us a tiny glimpse of the sea.

Nevertheless, there is some karma thrown in. The previous owners’ dishwasher conked out and they never bothered to replace it, so I’ll be doing dishes by hand and reminding myself that AT LEAST IT’S NOT AT A KITCHEN BENCH until we find the strength, Choice reviews and energy to go find a replacement.

* Just trying to protect my innocent husband unless you ventured here from Facebook