Tentatively Tasmanian

Good old Bev at Sunday Stealing has given us bloggers a few more questions to ponder. Not sure if they will reveal anything interesting about me, but I’ll give ’em a burl…

Do you trust people at restaurants who handle your food that they aren’t doing anything gross to it while you can’t see them?

No, not always. Many moons ago, I was a ‘banquetting trainee’ at the Savoy Hotel in London. We would be sworn at by the chefs for going too slow as we plated up over 400 meals whilst running. Smears of sauce, dobs of raspberry coulis, smatterings of herbs. I’d wipe my hands on my apron and then continue to pick up the garnish with my still-sticky hands and keep on going. I’m more wary, though, about what happens to a meal (ie a still bleeding burger when ‘well done’ was requested) is sent back and re-done. Surely the chef might decide to sneeze right on top of it?

How do you wear your hair each day?

It’s very short, as in little boy who woke up and has to wet his hair down before he goes to school short. Even if I blow dry it, it seems to have a stubborness of its own and I either end up looking like an albino Elvis or as though I’ve suffered a terrible surprise.

Have you ever worn:
A gas mask? Nope
A blindfold? Only at ‘pin the tail on the donkey’ at birthday parties. I’d never never but would always throw up afterwards after overdosing on chocolate crackles, frogs in jelly and the bag of lollies we were supposed to take home and enjoy later.

Would you be willing to go hang gliding?

No, not now. The older I get, the more risk-averse. I did do parachuting way back when I was 21 years old and that was in the days when you did it on your own and not stuck to the back of an over-enthusiastic Chad, praying you didn’t fart in fear on him. I remember when my name was called and I had to climb out of the door and onto the wing strut, hang on for dear life as I counted to three before letting go. It was an incredibly exhilarating experience and, unlike a school friend who broke both of his ankles whilst landing during his own jump, I landed on my feet before plonking butt first into the dust.

I did do snow skiing when we lived in Switzerland and France. As my skills and confidence grew, I could competently manage a nice wide red run, but Craig* was always way ahead, zooming down the slopes with athleticism and grace. I’d remove my jacket and steam would be wafting from me as I never really relaxed. At my best, it was a combination of fun and fear. Later, when I needed to wear glasses full time, my goggles fogged up and I reverted straight back to terror, forgetting everything I had learned. Skiing without glasses was even more terrifying and contact lenses….well, they seemed to want to scratch my eyeballs and exit the scene. My confidence never returned and at 52, I decided to retire from the sport.

What is the difference between a man’s button down shirt and a woman’s button down shirt?

What a boring question. They button on the other side.

Have you ever taken a lock of someone else’s hair?

No, but I’ve been tempted to YANK OUT a chunk of people’s hair at times!

Have you ever given anyone a lock of your hair?

Do dust bunnies made of bathroom pubes count?

If you had a locket what would you put inside?

My husband. He’s already in my wallet.

Have you ever written something on a bathroom wall?

I once corrected ‘your’ to ‘you’re’ once.

When was the last time you fell down in public?

I suffer from vertigo and usually just fall out of bed and slide down the nearest wall, but when I went to see the doctor about it, I was in the middle of walking towards the examination table and felt as thought I had just done a triple somersault and face-planted near her sharps disposal bin. I had a laugh and she said, “Well I can confidently confirm that you have vertigo!”

Are you more aggressive or mellow?

I would like to say mellow, but if my patience has been tested, or someone is rude or untruthful, I can become very much like the Hulk and let them have it. ‘Don’t make me angry; you won’t like me when I’m angry….’

What have you done with your self to keep your life worth living?

I have therapy, anti-depressants, a wonderfully kind husband, incredible friends and make myself get out of bed each day no matter how I’m feeling. I also take a lot of pleasure in the small things. Patting a dog, having a laugh at a silly meme or ticking something off my ‘to do’ list.

What is the most incredible thing you can do?

Get through the bureaucracy in moving back to Australia; get our house sorted, find a job and be happy with myself as a flawed, scared and sometimes overwhelmed human being.

Do you bury your pets, flush them, or throw them away?

When our beloved, fifteen year old dog Milly died, I was there to look into her beautiful brown eyes, kiss her and thank her for being my best companion and the very best girl. After a lot of sobbing, I left her with the vet as I did not see the point of having her ashes in a vase in the house; it would have just made me sad.

What’s your favorite thing that is yellow?

I’m so pale that yellow seems to highlight my spots and wrinkles and seems to look better on a more tanned or brown person. Bananas are OK and I love using it when knitting my rainbow LGBTQ+ blankets.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

I think I’ve answered this one before. Just pierced ears, and three tattoos.